I was recently invited to participate as a panelist in a discussion on homeschooling high school. The organizer, a long-time friend, specifically invited me because she needed someone who “didn’t necessarily follow the public school at home model and who thinks outside the box.” She knows me well. Haha!
My friend said that some of the moms in attendance are feeling incredible pressure to conform to a certain mold for the high school years. In their hearts, they want something different for their families. But ‘different’ can be scary. There are fewer examples of families doing high school outside of the box. These moms need reassurance that they are not ruining their kids. And they need a vision of some of the incredible possibilities that are available.
My friend is amazing. I just love her heart. And I was honored by her invitation to help encourage moms who are entering this phase of home education.
So, lately I have been pondering what I should share with these incredible women. What words of encouragement can I offer them? What gems of wisdom were handed to me that I can now pass on? How can I reassure them that God will lead them through this phase, too.
First, Pray Continually.
This should be our default. Yet can any of us say we actually pray enough? So this is a reminder to pray over everything: the kids, your weekly calendar, curriculum choices, commitments, relationships, and everything else.
God knows our kids better than we do. He designed them to do good works which He prepared in advance for them to do. He will bring us the resources and opportunities to develop the skills they will need. He is always faithful.
Second, Know Your Why
- Why did you choose home education?
- Why did you choose the methods you have used to this point?
- Have your reasons changed in the last 8-9 years?
- What are your beliefs about the purpose of education and the best methods of obtaining it?
- Is college essential, optional, or frowned upon?
- What are your thoughts regarding the morality of tax-funded education?
Discuss all of this with your husband. Be sure that you are in agreement. Your unity is more important than ever.
Write down your goals, vision, and beliefs. Be specific. The act of writing will help you clarify your ideas. It will also serve as a reference when you are making decisions about curricula, activities, time commitments, and more.
Third, Know This Kid
Each child is unique. Each has specific strengths and weaknesses. We cannot know what this kid is going to do in life. But by age 13 we generally have an inkling that this one loves working with language, or numbers, or people, or animals, or tools, or whatever. Is she more creative or more concrete? Is he bookish or more active? Does she thrive on competition or is she self motivated? Perhaps he is a unique combination of all of these and more.
Does he desire a college degree? Does she dream of owning a business? Is he spiritually and emotionally mature? How well does she handle responsibility? Is he cool under pressure?
Be sure to factor in this kid’s inherent proclivities as you plan for the high school years. Seek ways to incorporate current interests wherever possible, then be flexible as those interests change. The high school years are a time of incredible growth and discovery. Embrace the adventure in that.
Image by Dariusz Sankowski from Pixabay
Then, Be Confident
You have sought God’s wisdom. You have clarified your family’s vision for high school. And you have considered this child’s unique design and purpose in life. Now choose your curricula and activities based upon those things.
Be confident in your decisions. Have the courage to say no to lots of great things so you can prioritize the things that best equip your family. That means you will ‘miss out’ on some fun activities. It also means your kids will not study some things that some people may consider absolutely essential. It’s okay.
Your friends’ plans for their high schoolers will NOT look like yours. You are a unique family with unique kids. Unique is, by definition, not cookie-cutter, not mass manufactured, not like the others. We know we are called to be different from the world. However we are also called to be different within the Body of Christ. Appreciate the differences in others while also being confident in your calling.
Any time you feel fearful, pressured, inferior, or otherwise negative about your decisions, go back through the first three items in this list. Then, if you and your husband both believe God is nudging you to change something, do it. Make the change. If not, then pray for courage and stay the course.
Always, Prioritize Relationships
With Your High Schooler
Prioritize your relationship over academics. At this point they have all the tools to teach themselves anything they need to learn. It is easier to take a remedial math class than to repair a broken relationship.
With Your Husband
Prioritize your relationship with your husband. Carve out time to be alone with him. Work on communication skills. Have fun together. Find new hobbies you can share. Do the work necessary for you to connect spiritually, physically, and emotionally.
Our husbands have worked hard and sacrificed all these years to allow us to homeschool. They are striving to be godly husbands and fathers. They deserve our gratitude and respect. And yes, they are imperfect; so are we. But they are good men. We are blessed women.
Image by StockSnap from Pixabay
If you would like to some of my favorite frugal home education resources, click here.